Courage

This past week has been slower than last week. Nevertheless, it has been great! I have been able to wander the city on my own and get to find my way. I love it! Living in a city is so different....everything moves all the time! Yes Aix-en-Provence was a city but it is a much smaller city. Anyways...I'm about 10 minutes from the center of town and its perfect. I still get some quiet ;) I love it all! All of my classes begin in the next two weeks so I am looking forward to having that quiet to study!

Moving on...what have I learned during my wanders in the city? 

1) if you have to be up early for any reason, go sit down by the river; just across from Place de la Bourse. It is quiet and you get to watch the city wake up. Plus the architecture is beautiful to stare at. Let your mind wander and take it all in.

2) bikes...I need to remember that they are everywhere and that I am in their way haha

3) look for the unexpected: yes I am fully aware that this is an oxymoron. Things that are unexpected are that way for a reason but that shouldn't stop you for looking for them. What I mean is, look for a moment you can enjoy or find the time to disappear from the world and stick to yourself. That sounds completely introverted but it is worth it. Like I've said before, it is how you learn something about yourself. Plus, something can always happen that will completely change your day around :)

4) what would I do without technology? I mean really, what did we do before iphones? that is a sad question to ask because I fully remember the time before iphones but being here, I don't know what I would do if I couldn't communicate with my people. Snail mail still makes receiving mail fun but I love being able to text and FaceTime my CA people when I can. Don't worry, I will meet France people too! That is what school is for ;)

5) COURAGE. Ever since I decided to move back to France, I've been told how courageous I am to do so. I am beginning to understand why. I said before that leaving this time was harder and I still think it was. But I am beginning to realize is that the courage everyone says I have, doesn't come from me alone. Of course I have to believe in myself otherwise this whole thing...well, we aren't going to discuss that because it won't ever happen :) All of you, especially my family and my friends give me the courage to do this. You all are there...via Facebook, Skype, iMessage, and FaceTime or whatever to give me the support when I need it. Just being able to talk to you all makes a huge difference. Without that, I wouldn't have this courage. I may be across an ocean and living in another country but I feel as if my family and those who I am lucky to have as friends, are right next to me. For that, I love and thank you all.

If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it.
John Irving

<3

promised photos

As promised...here are a few pictures of my place and my city! More to follow soon!

bien arrivée!!

First, I would just like to say that I am LOVING being back in France!

Ok so now for a recap. I arrived about 3 days ago now and since my arrival, I have opened my bank account, moved into my place, and officially because a Master's student. eek! :)

I LOVE my tiny little studio...I think my favorite part is that I have it to myself. Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to meeting new people and everything but I love getting to live on my own. I get to do what I want, when I want, and how I'd like to do it :) Sure it is strange being alone but that is part of the adventure. I will have plenty of opportunities to meet to people, especially once classes begin on the 16th. Until then, I'll wander and get to know my new surroundings. 

School...I am enjoying my vacation time but I am ready to have something to dive into. Grad school in France hold news challenges. I am beginning my graduate studies in a new country that has a different education system than I am used to. I'm sure it will take some time to adjust but I am ready for it. It still amazes me that my Master's degree will only cost me about $500 a year. That is for both tuition and social security! How awesome is that! Even though I knew that would be the price, I still couldn't believe it when I was given my balance to pay. Thank you French visa for allowing me to benefit from this! Classes begin on the 16th :)

I have quickly come to realize that all the fears I had about moving and starting my life in another country alone, weren't worth it. This is all an amazing opportunity and I am so lucky that I get to do this. I've learned that the only important thing is to be positive and to love every minute of this adventure. If there is one thing I know about myself it is that I am capable of succeeding in anything and everything I want in life. All I have to do is know I can do it and the rest will fall into place one way or another.

:) 

finding my wings and beginning to use them

A little over a year ago, I was packing my belongings and preparing for my return to the US after spending a year abroad. Well, as my friends and family remember, I wanted no part of leaving. I fell in love with France and I found who I am. I remember promising myself that I would be back and that I would do anything to make it happen.  Surprise surprise, I did it! I am going home to my beloved adoptive country in just 3 days. Bordeaux, France...my new home and where I will get to create a life for myself :) Master's program in another country? Bring. It. On.

Leaving this time is much harder. The packing, the good-byes, the everything. My emotions have been everywhere. I have experienced pure excitement, sheer terror and I have even doubted whether or not I am strong enough to pull this off because this time, I am on my own. But, how do fears and doubts benefit me? They don't. So, they are being cast of into the wind and I have decided that any challenge I face, I can overcome. It is apart of becoming a true adult. We all have moments when we have to figure it out and I will. I will be across an ocean but support system will be as close as ever. I am so fortunate to have such a close knit family and a great group of friends that love me and will be there for me through anything. Without all of you, I wouldn't be able to do this and for that (among so many other reasons), I love you all!

I am ready. I've found my wings...now only 3 more days until I begin to use them!

my "what's next"....

So...here we are...back by popular demand :)

It is crazy to think that I have been home for a year now. Time has flown! So first a short recap...

I am 23 and a college graduate with a Bachelor of Arts in History and a second Bachelor of Arts in French Language. My last year at California State University San Marcos was amazing. I got to serve as the French Club Présidente, had the opportunity to work with CEA Global Education as an Alumni Ambassador and was CSUSM's french tutor. It was a lot but as I think about it, I loved every moment of the insanity because it allowed me to share my passions with my campus community. I think before my experience abroad, I was so content with remaining in my books and completing my studies but after, how could I not share the amazing-ness that is the world with my fellow students?

What did I love most about my undergraduate college experience? I would have to say...finding myself. College for so many is the time to party lots and study little. I looked at it another way. It was a new challenge and a time for me to find my element. I found it thats for sure. I think what is so incredible to reflect on is how each one of my history, literature and french professors was able to teach me something other than the required materials. My history people taught me about the world and they helped me discover that history is a constant, living thing that is completely dependent on those who study it. My literature professors showed me how to see the world as a human and to read the history as if I was there. And last but certainly not least, my french professors gave me a challenge; one that pushed me to realize that settling for something you are naturally good at isn't always enough. To all my CSUSM professors, I thank you; for dealing with me and for helping create who I am today. Each of you has left an impact and I will never forget it. 

Here is the fam bam! I am so lucky to have all of them in my corner. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a family who loves you and supports you no matter what. I have that team behind me...whether I am in the US or moving about the planet :) 

Oh Cal State Stair Master....I will miss you....kind of ;) I was so proud of this regalia that I did not take it off ALL day :)

True? I think yes :) 

On that note, I think its time to bring up my "what's next". 

I have been accepted at the Université de Bordeaux 3 and I will be moving back to France in early September! I am so excited and honestly I am not sure I have fully realized that I am now a grad student about to move "home." I will be studying études anglophones or english studies and I would like to become an english professor. 

As I wrote last year, I didn't want to leave France and at that time I promised I would be back in a little over a years time. I remember my return flight from Paris to London, sitting in a window seat over the plane's wing, watching as the Eiffel Tower came into view for a brief moment and then disappeared. I felt as if my world as I knew it had changed. I was a different person and the world I fell in love with, was disappearing in front of my eyes. I had already made up my mind to graduate and come back but I was terrified that something was going to happen and that it would be impossible. Well, that is not the case and I get to go "home" in just a few short months and I couldn't be more stoked! However, there is a sense of trepidation because this time, I won't be with a program. It is as if I am a "real" grown up and now is the time to really find my wings and fly. I'm sure there will be challenges and bumps along the way but I have the best support system filled with family and friends who love me and I know they will never let me fall. 

"Suis ton coeur aussi longtemps que tu vis..."

je le ferai...toujours

:)

je vous remercie et la fin d'un début

It is nearly time to bid adieu to my current adventure and begin to look forward to what my future holds. But, I cannot do that without reflecting on a few things and thanking a few people...

When we travel, the cultures we encounter change us. We learn a lot by just by observing our surroundings. This year I travelled within France, Italy, and Croatia but it was in France where I learned the most not only about mon pays d'adoption (my country of adoption), but more importantly, about myself.

I have always been a strong-willed and determined person but this year taught me that I am stronger than I thought. At first it was relatively easy to leave everything behind but as months went on, I began to realize just how much I appreciate my friends and family back home. Each day here brought new challenges. I learned how to live away from my family and with roommates, how to understand and respect a new culture, and how to speak another language. I loved every minute of it! The challenges are what made this adventure!

When I think of the word home, it now has a double meaning. Home will always be with my family in San Diego but now, France has become my home as well. I am thankful for that. Now I have two sides, two cultures, two languages and yet, I am just one person who has discovered so much more of herself. I am Brittany, the same as always, and I have become Brittanie, the American-Frenchie version. Both sides are pieces to the puzzle that make up who I am.

Je suis comme je suis et maintenant, je suis "moi"...I am who I am :)

The best part of my year has been discovering myself through my love of language. As I wrote before, I love French and now I appreciate and love English. It brings me such happiness to understand, speak and write two languages. It is amazing! (if you missed the last post, read it and you will understand!) :)

I am very lucky to have had this opportunity and it wouldn't have been possible without so many people. My support system from friends and family is and has been unparalleled. I wouldn't have been able to do this without any of you. As independent as I like to think I am, I needed all of you. I don't think I will ever be able to fully express my gratitude but I'll begin with a THANK YOU!

To my friends: You are all amazing. I have become closer with so many of you even though I have been so far away. Thank you for always being there even when the conversations were a tad bizarre at really random hours day or night. I have discovered just how amazing you all are and this would have been impossible without you. I will see you all soon!! We have so much to catch up on!! :)

à mon "prof" et amie...

To my "professor" and friend

Tu insiste que tu n'as rien fait...ce n'est pas vrai!!! Tu es vraiment géniale! Tu continues à m'enseigner plus que tu sais comme d'habitude!

Without this woman, I probably wouldn't have come to France this year. You helped me follow and realize my dreams and although you insist that it has been all me, I couldn't do it without you...je te remercie pour tous!

And of course...the biggest thank you of all goes to my FAMILY! They all rock by the way!

First one goes to my G-ma...It would have been impossible to be here without you! You always support me 110% without hesitation and that is amazing. You are amazing! Thank you for ALL your support. I know you have explored the south of France before but one day, you and I will explore it together. I love you!

And now all the Rose's!

From all the amazing boxes filled with treats and holiday rubber ducks to the FaceTime conversations on how to handle unfamiliar territory, you were always there when I needed you.

Maman...I know it wasn't easy for you to let me cross the Atlantic but thank you for always supporting me. I could have never done this without you. Every month I couldn't wait for my box to see what rubber duck you had chosen! They are definitely one of my favorite parts of this adventure! I have learned just how important you are and I realize I much I actually need you...I love you, je t'aime!

Daddy...I know it was equally as hard for you to watch me leave and thank you for always being there. I may be growing up and finding my way in this world, but I am and will always be your baby girl. I love you!

Last but not least...Zach and Ash! It has been strange to not have you two with me this year. I realize now that I have taken you two for granted. You are both so important to me and I will always need you! I love you guys!

:) :) Ma belle France...ce n'est pas facile de te quitter...mais pour moi, c'est au revoir pour le moment parce que je reviendrai l'année prochaine. Merci pour tous ce que tu m'as appris...tu as changé ma vie. je t'aime et tu vas me manquer

A love of language

Being in France has taught me more than I could ever fully explain. As the end of the beginning approaches, I find myself more drawn to language than ever. I speak, read and write French every day and the more I do, the more I love it. Yes, there are challenges...it is not my maternal language therefore I make countless mistakes and at times I have no idea what is going on but, I love it. Its a challenge and a passion. You have to love the language if you ever want to learn it! Even though I have my days where no matter how hard I try, I can't understand anything, it doesn't matter. I've found my passion and temporary problems don't matter in the long run. It is so fun when you realize you are mélang-ing (mixing) two languages at once. Every day I catch myself doing two things: 1. speaking English but using french words like everyone can understand what I am saying and 2. spelling English words the french way (like problem=problème). I don't mind any of it! Best part...waking up and remembering your dreams occurred in French. :)  

My love of french has made me appreciate my English. I can now see the beauty in it that I never really thought of. I've always loved writing but I never really thought much of the language itself because it has always been natural. Language, regardless of which one we use, allows the opportunity to express ourselves. Whether we are aware of it or not, it is an art. We don't have to practice and we don't have to try, but it is an evolving and ever-changing art. Take the opportunity to listen to yourself, really listen to the words you say. Listen to another language, even if you can't understand it. It is amazing what you can understand just by listening and watching. It's amazing and it brings me so much happiness!